the perfect life

hey eveyrone thaNKX for reading my blog, today im going to be discussing my issues with anger and feelign like i have been done some great injustice by the universe.  i have alot of issues with seeing other peopels beautifull lives and successfull careers and i mena its alot deeper than just jelousy .....lol im sure we all feel liek that but i look online and look at the world and see people living perfect lives where nothin bad has ever happened to them and they have had evyer oppertunty turn out in their favor and i  cant help but wander why i have had so many bad thigns happen to me and why others seem to have this perfect existance and i wander why is it that the universe felt this need to give me so much pain  and suffering when it grants others a perfect life.  i just feel like i have had wayyyy over my share of disease diagnosis's , abuse, torture, stolen dreams and broken promises.  i look at people aroudn me with perfect health perfect careers, perfect bodys perfect eveyrthing and i cant help but cry. my body has strech marks and my tumym is swollen my career was stolen by disease my childhood was horrid and i just keep on gettign a bad deck of cards delt out.  I feel like my chance at the perfect life was stolen from me by disease abusesive childhood and a cruel hand of fate and it makes me think why why is it that certain people get blessed with the perfect life to take for granted and others get cursed with pain, who decides who ???who decides what?? and how can  i get the perfect life the next time around?? i cant help but morn my lost career and morn my stolen chidlhood and my chance to lead a normal life but i hope that in this life by tryin to help as many ppl as possible and tryign to be as good of a human being a sa possibly can i hope to next time in my next life i really hope to have an easier go around i hope that by being the best possible human thsi time i wont inhearit another life liek thsi one........i know im blessed to have my child and to have true love and i never once for a second take that for granted but i still cant help bu t wish my life had been differant in many ways and i cant help but be jelous of the people who seem to have eveyrthign so perfect..........i cant help but wander what i did to desvere this lif ein my past life i cant help but wander what peopel with perfect lives did do earn them??? i cant help but wish we all got the perfect life and i do so wish that in my next life i have earned the perfect life!i am not ashamed to say i am so jelous of people who are healthy i am not ashamed to say that this is not abnormal to have these feeligns and i vow to one day have the perfect life  .............. i might go and cry myself to sleep again tongiht but i will oen day be the person who never crys herself to sleep! and maybe in this life i just might earn the perfect life.............and the media sur edoesnt help the situation all thsoe perfect people ect.....dpotn get me starte dont he media lol ...........................i might have my night terrors tonight and wake up in pain but mayeb one day i wont..........maybe one day you wont either.......

learn more about my life in my uncensored interveiw with sarah below is link!
http://www.myjourneywithcrohns.com/2012/11/interview-with-chrystal-creator-of.html